skyemoonstars

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

lookupandrememberthestars
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via bl-ossomed)